DIAMONDS ARE A GIRL'S BEST CORPSE

A Swiss company will take the ashes of your dead loved one and, for as little as $7,500, will transform the dearly departed into a tiny, perfect synthetic gemstone that you can keep forever. Such a stone is called a Remembrance Diamond, and the process involves subjecting the carbon in the ash to enormous levels of heat and pressure.

GE pioneered the process in the 1950s as a cost-effective way to produce industrial diamonds. In it's latest incarnation the process allows grieving survivors to cling to the remains of loved onest without the bother of nasty smells or hungry vultures.